What I've Done Read online

  “Hey there. Are you here alone?” There is a kindness in his eyes but his hand is at his belt, poised over what I guess to be a Taser gun. The beady-eyed, overweight officer behind him sneaks in behind his partner, watching me with cautious eyes as he does so.

  I nod when I am too afraid to speak. My chances of running away without being caught are terrible since Rose is still sleeping and I won’t be able to simply grab her and run. I can’t leave Rose here all by herself, either. My options are horribly limited.

  The officer still speaks to me with languid care, as if I am a bomb about to explode. “We got a call that there were two young girls in the backyard of this house last night. Is there someone else here with you?”

  My eyes flicker to the bedroom again. I know I have no other choice. “My sister,” I whisper.

  The taller officer motions for his partner to head into the bedroom but keeps his eyes trained on me. “Where are your parents?”

  The shorter officer walks into the next room in a quick movement.

  “Don’t scare her!” I beg.

  The taller officer holds his hand out toward me. “We aren’t here to hurt anyone. Did you and your sister run away?”

  Tears fill my eyes. “Our parents are both dead. But I’m eighteen.” The second part isn’t quite as truthful as the first but my birthday is not too far away so I consider it more of a white lie.

  “Do you have any identification?” He has crept in closer to me so I take a step back.

  “No.” My shoulders fall when I know there will be no way to avoid foster care at this point.

  The officer’s hand curls around the Taser and he continues to speak to me with a certain deliberation. “I’m going to have to take you in, just to make sure you haven’t been reported as missing by anyone, okay?”

  I bob my head in affirmation, a tear falling down my cheek. The shorter officer comes into the room with Rose in his arms. Her cries are soft when she reaches out for me. I run over and take her away from the officer, hugging her close to me. The taller officer removes his hand from the Taser and motions for me to come along with him.

  “Shhh, it will be okay,” I whisper to Rose.

  But it is another lie, because I don’t know that everything will be okay. Not this time.

  CHAPTER 4

  “Are these people movie stars?” Rose asks as we step into our new home.

  Svetlana, our new foster mother, laughs good-naturedly as she closes the door on the social worker who had delivered us. Svetlana is a very pretty brunette I guess to be somewhere in her early thirties. She has a thick foreign accent with hair and makeup that are perfectly applied. Her bright green eyes pop out from behind the right amount of eyeliner and mascara. She wears light blue capris and a white sweater that reminds me of old housewives in the 1950s. Although her husband is not home when we arrive, I get the feeling Svetlana could have been some kind of mail order bride to some rich old guy.

  The spacious house our foster parents own sits high on a hill overlooking the ocean and is not far from the beach where the stolen cash remains safely locked away. From the front entrance you can see all the way across the clean and neat house to the other side, which is completely covered in glass windows overlooking the beach. The open layout reveals in one glance the best of everything; stainless steel appliances, plush leather couches, a huge flat screen television and ornate area rugs over marble floors. It is by far the nicest house I have ever even set foot in.

  I am not consciously aware when I automatically take a step backwards.

  Svetlana senses my withdrawal and gently yanks on my arm. “What is wrong, Tasha? It okay, I promise.”

  I had given our aliases when questioned by the pretty, young social worker named Melissa at the sheriff’s station and didn’t give out many other details. Since they had no way to verify who we really are, we appeared briefly in front of a Judge who decided to place us in a foster home until we could be seen by another Judge for a more in-depth hearing. I had just been relieved when there was no mention of placing me in a detention center.

  “This place is way too upscale,” I mutter, adjusting the new messenger bag on my shoulder. “We don’t belong here.”

  “Your home is here,” she says, smiling warmly. She takes Rose’s new backpack from my hands and puts it on her own shoulder. Again she pulls on my arm, forcing me to either trail behind her or fall down on my face. I reluctantly give in with Rose holding tight to my other hand.

  We walk through the house without speaking but our flip-flops snap in loud beats on the stone floor, the sound echoing all around us. Svetlana stops to open a large metal door, revealing a warm and spacious bedroom painted in a muted light blue. A giant bed in the center of the room is covered with a white fluffy comforter under a sea of ornate, brightly-colored pillows.

  Rose drops my hand and runs into the room. “We are going to sleep here?”

  Svetlana grins down at my little sister. “Yes, you stay here.”

  Rose giggles happily and throws herself into the mass of pillows on the bed, lying still among them with a satisfied smile. “This is the most softest bed I’ve ever been in!”

  Svetlana laughs, her voice making a pleasant ringing noise. I already like this woman and we had just met her for the first time at the sheriff’s office less than an hour ago. “Come with me. I show you where everything is.”

  Svetlana leads us down a bright white hallway decorated with stunning prints of the ocean in black and white. She stops at the end to where a smaller but beautiful bedroom and bathroom are situated across from each other and tells me the room will be mine. I can’t get over how elegant and expensive everything inside the house appears to be.

  I give Svetlana a grateful smile. “Your house is amazing.”

  “You have to see best part!”

  She leads us back to where the dozens of windows stretch across the room and opens the glass doors to a large stone patio. We walk past a massive outdoor kitchen that is situated beside a large glass-top table and a stunning stone fireplace. Everything looks like it is straight out of a home décor magazine.

  “Does it snow here?” I ask, baffled by the need for a fireplace.

  Svetlana chuckles. “We do not see snow. But it is cold sometimes for people who only know California weather, yes?” She brings us down a small slope of a hill. When our feet hit the warm sand, we discover behind the patio there is an oval shaped hot tub nestled inside a group of white flowering bushes.

  The view of the ocean from the hot tub is spectacular. The nearest houses are hidden by more white flowering bushes so it feels kind of like you are alone on a deserted island. In the very far distance you can see the start of the public beaches where we have spent many afternoons with Gabe. The early afternoon has brought a variety of people out to enjoy another ideal day on the beach. Further out in the water I see a cluster of surfers bobbing around as they wait to catch the next big wave. I can only imagine how much the view will only continue to improve once the sun begins to set.

  Rose stands on the steps leading up to the hot tub and peers down at the still water behind a translucent cover. “Do we take our baths in here?”

  It hadn’t occurred to me until now that my little sister has probably never seen a hot tub before. She has lived such a sad, sheltered life. But in the short time since our mother’s death we have been given more opportunities than I could have dreamed of. It only continues to get better and better, which is starting to scare me.

  Svetlana laughs again, sounding delighted. I can see in her eyes that she already adores my little sister almost as much as I do.

  “It’s like a little pool, Barbie,” I tell her. “You wear your swimsuit in it.”

  “We have cover locked for kids but I show Tasha where to find key.” Svetlana says. She taps Rose lightly on the nose. “You girls are hungry, yes?”

  Rose looks to me with questioning eyes and I nod my approval.

  “Yes, please,” Rose answers.
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  Whenever we had spent a meal away from Gabe in the past week the food portions had become smaller and smaller. I was to the point where I basically quit eating unless Gabe brought us something. As always, my priority was to make sure my sister was well fed and there was very little money left to make it happen.

  Svetlana grins at Rose’s polite answer. “I will make sandwich for you.”

  My stomach growls angrily as we follow her back into the house where she begins opening cupboards. I settle Rose on a stool at the massive marble island stretching through the kitchen before asking Svetlana how I can help.

  “You crack egg,” she says, handing me a metal bowl. I nod and walk over to the large stainless steel refrigerator, yanking on the cool handle and peering inside. I find the carton of eggs and place them on the countertop beside Svetlana.

  “You girls go to school tomorrow. Your school is very nice I think.” She takes the bowl from me once I have cracked the egg and begins mixing the other ingredients.

  Tears came to my eyes when we were promised by Melissa, our new social worker, that she would get us into school right away. I decided with little deliberation that being placed in foster care this time wasn’t going to be nearly as bad as I had feared. We have a nice home to sleep in, food to eat, a way to attend school and even brand new clothes Melissa had taken us shopping for on our way here.

  I have worried so many times that Rose won’t grow up to be a well-adjusted adult. Maybe without our mother’s addictions controlling our lives and living in a place like this I will finally be able to give my little sister the normal life that she deserves. Her birthday is not long after mine, and I vow to give her a real birthday party this year, with cake, streamers and party hats. I can imagine how excited she will be if we can even have her party on the beach in the backyard of this awesome house.

  But if our true identities are discovered they may decide to ship us back to Minnesota and this fantasy life will be all over with. Once I do turn eighteen they aren’t going to hand Rose over to me without a job or a place to live. I have been in the system long enough to know how everything works and I had even discussed my future options once with our last case worker.

  “Can I go to the beach later?” I ask Svetlana cautiously.

  She turns to me with a smile. “We all go to the beach later, yes?”

  I give her what I hope to be a convincing smile. “Actually, I was hoping to go alone, to meet with a friend.”

  Rose sits higher in her seat. “Gabe?”

  “Yeah,” I answer. I hope he will have some ideas where I can get a job. Without any identification or job history I know it will not be easy.

  Svetlana’s look turns skeptical. “I think maybe you don’t run around with boy.”

  One serious flaw in this arrangement is going to be the tight supervision and having to ask permission to do everything short of sneezing. It is quite the reverse of what I am used to, especially after spending the past few weeks out here on our own.

  “Am I going to Westerville?” I ask, knowing we are probably still in the same school district. She nods while watching me closely. “Gabe goes there, too. I was kind of hoping he could at least show me where the school is. You know, so I’m not so nervous about tomorrow.”

  Svetlana stops stirring the egg mixture and sighs. “Okay, you go with boy. I give you two hours and you come back. Deal?” She flashes a bright smile and I nod.

  As I finish helping our kind, new foster mother prepare our first home cooked meal in months, I can only hope her husband is this friendly.

  * * *

  I am sitting on the beach for less than ten minutes, playing with the cell phone Svetlana let me use, when the sun burns brightly. I have to cover my face from the flare. When I bring my hand down Gabe appears in a dark blue polo shirt, plaid white and gray shorts and the same worn sandals he has worn nearly every day. His brilliant smile returns when he spots me. I can’t help but return his upbeat mood with an equally large smile.

  “Hey!” He beams with radiance. “You look beautiful again today.”

  “Thanks,” I reply. I look down when the annoying heat creeps into my cheeks. The new dusty rose colored t-shirt and dark capris I wear had been in a popular store at the mall. It was a totally new experience for both Rose and me to be allowed to pick brand new clothing out with Melissa. I had gone along with my friend Tasha a few times to shop in the past, but never had the money to actually buy anything I wanted.

  By habit I had been modest with Melissa in choosing things that weren’t overly expensive but still fashionable. I am growing accustomed to my newly colored hair and have pulled it high on top of my head in a sloppy bun.

  “What happened to you this morning?” Gabe asks.

  “I’m sorry again that we weren’t able to meet you,” I say. “I feel bad that you went to the trouble of buying breakfast and meeting us here.”

  He shrugs and plops down onto the sand beside me. “It didn’t go to waste. I just hope everything is okay at home.” My body sizzles in response to his being so close.

  The ocean is still impressive again today despite the dark and direful clouds that threaten a possible rain shower. Only a few locals exercise along the shore, however, so I guess the impending storm to be keeping most people away. The sky swarms with sea gulls, their cries louder each time they skim the water’s surface in search of food. A light breeze brings a strong drift of the ocean’s scent our way and I inhale deeply-it is becoming my new favorite smell.

  “You’re still enjoying it out here?” Gabe asks, watching me take everything in.

  He is grinning at me in a tantalizing kind of way. He is certainly one of the most chipper people I have ever met and it has been awhile since I was last allowed to be happy, so it is kind of nice.

  I nod. “I totally love it. I can see us being happy here.”

  I have lied to Gabe about many things, but this is not one of them. I really love it here and hope to find a way we can stay. Being placed in foster care is really proving to be the best thing that could have happened to us.

  “I’m glad,” Gabe says. “Whatever it takes to see you smile like that is good with me.” He pushes on my leg with his own and grins. We watch the gray clouds roll by and I wonder if they are about to open and dump on us. “Since your sister ended stayed home with your parents, I thought maybe today I could give you some of those surf lessons I promised, if you’re up for it. These clouds should be moving out before long.”

  There is a break of clouds off to the left, but his reminder that we are finally alone gives me an idea. I can almost feel an actual light bulb flickering on somewhere in my mind. “Actually, I was hoping to go job hunting this afternoon. My parents said I need the responsibility or something like that. Do you know of anywhere that may possibly be hiring or where any of the better jobs may be?”

  I don’t know if Svetlana will even allow me to have a job, but I am going to have to figure out a way to make it work.

  “My buddy owns a surf shop just down the beach. I’m guessing there is some kind of opening for you there. You can pick out a board to use there, too.”

  His eyes dance with mischief as he waits for me to answer. I have never once dreamed I would be learning to surf. I didn’t even think I would ever see the ocean in my lifetime. For whatever reason my mother had chosen to bring us to California, I would be eternally grateful to her. Her final decision to move us again hadn’t been so horrific in the end.

  “I may have to take a rain check on surfing lessons for today. I have to be back in a couple of hours since we have school tomorrow and everything.”

  “Another time then.”

  He springs onto his feet and holds his hand out for me. I take it shyly, anticipating the jolt that I will feel when we touch and I am pleased when it shoots through me. He pulls me up in one swift movement and we stand looking at each other for a minute, our hands still together. I take my hand from his when I become flustered.

  We see
many surf shops of different sizes on our journey, but Gabe leads me to a very large, unique store standing between a small record store and cheap looking souvenir shop. A sign painted in whimsical, rainbow-colored letters reads “Tropical Pipedream.” We step inside and I am instantly drawn to a large wall filled from top to bottom with brightly colored surf boards. It is so striking it can almost be considered a work of art.

  “Gabe!” a woman’s voice that is warm and soft calls out in greeting. “Aloha!”

  I jerk my attention away from the wall in time to see Gabe embrace a curvaceous, dark-haired young woman. She wears an ill-fitting pair of cut-off jean shorts that show off her long, tanned legs and a bright blue bikini top that leaves very little to the imagination. Her round and soft face is framed by her dark curls falling all around it. Her bright smile and the sparkle in her eyes make her appear to be quite friendly, but I am disappointed when Gabe kisses her cheek.

  “Kalia, this is my friend Tasha,” he tells the woman, beaming at me as if he is proud of himself for finding me.

  “Aloha, Tasha! It is so nice to finally meet you,” she says to me.

  I feel dwarfed standing next to the exquisite woman who is equal to Gabe in height. I take her slender hand when she offers it. Her smile is equally as dazzling as Gabe’s.

  “Since Tasha just moved to town I promised her I would give her surfing lessons,” Gabe explains. “I thought you wouldn’t mind if we borrowed one of your boards some afternoon.”

  “You know you’re welcome to use my boards anytime,” she tells him, bumping his hip with her own. Gabe puts his arm around her little waist that is likely half the size of my own. I wonder just how friendly Gabe and this woman are. By the way they are touching I fear my chances of any kind of relationship with him have just plummeted.

  “Tasha is looking for a job, too,” Gabe says. “Any chance you’re hiring right now?”

  It occurs to me that this woman is the “buddy” Gabe had been referring to. There is a large, bald man with multiple tattoos behind the register helping a female customer—I had immediately assumed he was the friend Gabe was referring to.