What I've Done Read online

  “I have to run some errands,” I say. “Maybe tomorrow?”

  “Okay, I guess.” His tone changes just enough for me to hear it. There is a hint of him feeling offended that I had turned his offer down. He kisses my cheek briskly before disappearing with Kalia to unload the new surf boards.

  I stop by the photo booth and get a set of what I perceive to be unflattering pictures taken. Not wanting to return to work while Gabe is still there, I walk through a few souvenir shops to kill extra time. While leaving a more new-age type shop that appears to carry nothing other than unusual shaped bongs for marijuana, something familiar on a bulletin board catches my eye.

  A spider web of fear falls over me when I find pictures of myself and Rose, staring back at me. They must be the same pictures Johnny showed Eli. The pictures are photocopied together on a sheet of paper with a sloppy, hand written message to contact a phone number if anyone sees us. The listed number has an area code I know to be for Minnesota.

  I look around to make sure no one is watching before ripping the sheet off the board and stuffing it into my pocket.

  * * *

  It is just before seven when I finish working for the day. I hurry outside to meet Eli and Alec just before they enter the shop. Relief floods me the minute Eli is standing at my side. It has been a long afternoon without him. He is, after all, the only one that knows I am hiding from someone dangerous. Just having him near is a huge comfort.

  Alec takes the picture and information he needs from me before he is on his way, giving Eli another slapping hand shake before leaving the two of us alone.

  “Can you hang out for a while?” Eli asks.

  I nod and he motions to the beach. We walk together with our bare feet submerged in the water along the shore line. There are a number of other couples doing the same, some of them holding hands and one even stopping for a slow kiss. It is another warm, perfect day in sunny California and I can’t stop myself from smiling, despite the pile of fears that are accumulating inside me.

  I turn to Eli to find he is already watching me. “Thanks for saving me this morning—again.”

  With our bodies so close I can feel this invisible pull towards him. It is so intense I decide not to fight it anymore and slip my hand over his to give it a small squeeze. A wild current passes between us and his eyes grow wide.

  Not sure if I have overstepped my boundaries, I pull my hand away. To my surprise, he steps closer and wraps his hand inside mine. I wince when the pleasure consumes me. His hand feels extremely warm against mine and I enjoy every second they are wrapped together.

  “Are you ready to tell me what it is you’re running from? If I am going to help you, I need to know what I’m up against.” He peers in my direction a few times while speaking, his eyes begging me to open up to him.

  The previous night I had been unable to sleep. The sight of Johnny walking into the shop played over and over in my mind. It reminded me just how much I have let my guard down and forgot how our safety needs to come first. But the thought of leaving San Diego is almost enough to break my heart in two. I had to ask myself which I was more upset about leaving—the city itself or the two guys I have begun to develop these crazy, intense feelings for.

  “Eli, I think it may be time for me and my little sister to leave the city.”

  He stops and turns to me, our hands still connected. “You don’t have to worry. I’m not about to let anything happen to you.”

  The promise rings true both in his soothing voice and his charming eyes. I am able to unexplainably relax and trust in him, although my heart says differently. Sensing the doubt on my face, Eli pulls me away from the water and falls back to sit in the sand, bringing me down with him.

  “I think it’s time you start telling me what is going on.”

  My heart thrums wildly in my chest, but once I am situated beside him he rubs my hand in encouragement. It feels so natural for us to be sitting so closely and I instantly feel safe. When I look over at him I am compelled to spill my entire story. Taking a deep breath, I give him a somewhat abbreviated version of everything that has happened, starting with my mother’s drug use and theft of cash causing us to leave Minnesota and ending with us abandoning her on the bus. I leave out very few details (expect for the part where I almost took my own life) and it takes a while to explain it all.

  Silent tears stream down my face as I describe how I had to take the money from my dead mother and run. Ashamed of myself and what I had done, I turn away from him when I am finished. I hadn’t put a lot of thought into my decision at the time, but in hindsight I have started to doubt myself and the decisions I had made. It is an overwhelming relief to finally tell another person why I am so concerned for our safety and how hard I have tried to keep us out of harm’s way.

  He turns my chin with his finger so I am facing him again.

  “It doesn’t sound like you had any other choice. Leaving your mother was the right thing to do. I’m guessing this Johnny character would have tried to claim you were his if you two had been thrown in an orphanage right away under your real names. If you did anything differently the two of you may have wound up dead.”

  “I told you that you shouldn’t get involved with me,” I say with a heavy sadness.

  “Don’t worry about me. I promise I will help you through this. I won’t let anyone or anything hurt you or your sister, Lily.”

  Shivers run through me at the sound of my real name coming from his lips. I want him to say it again and again. In a mixture of relief and confusion at his generosity, I continue to cry silent tears.

  “How can you promise such a thing? Who even are you, Eli? You show up out of nowhere to save me not once, but twice now and I don’t know a single thing about you. This whole thing between us is just crazy.”

  I raise our interlocked hands as evidence. He grins and squeezes my hand.

  “Do you trust me?” His voice is soft and his stunning eyes hold me with a blazing intensity. My first instinct gives a resounding yes. I don’t know how or why I do, but as I look back at this gorgeous stranger, I know I would trust him with my life.

  “I think I do,” I finally answer.

  The calmness that comes with my answer makes me feel safe and I am able to finally quit crying. As I brush my tears away, Eli pulls me into his side by wrapping a large arm around me. The instant warmth that spreads through me makes me never want to leave his side.

  “I promise I will keep you safe,” he whispers into my ear.

  I wrap my arms around him and hold on tight, hoping he will be able to make good on that promise and scolding myself for not telling him about Gabe.

  * * *

  At school the next day Gabe still is acting cold and relatively distant, making very little effort to interact with me. I grow more frustrated with him as school seems to drag on forever without anyone to talk to aside from a little small talk with a few classmates.

  When the day is finally done I call Svetlana on my cell phone and get her permission to walk to work. Since I have an extra half hour I take my time getting there, taking a detour through an area marked as being Seaport Village.

  The grassy knoll is alive with street performers making music and what appear to be varied tourists. I sit in the middle of a sprawling yard among a variety of people that also have decided to take in the pleasantly fresh smelling air and the warmth of the full sun.

  A handful of yachts bounce lazily in the water, their elegant masts standing erect in the afternoon sunlight. I lean on my side and try to imagine what it would be like to be married to a billionaire and not have anything to do with the days other than float around on the water through some of the world’s most picturesque destinations. I will probably never get to see the world, but I am happy in California and it is already beginning to feel like home.

  Before long I am totally evaluating everything that has happened since getting off that bus so many weeks ago. I had been so quick to trust both Gabe and Eli the minute I met e
ach of them, possibly endangering Rose’s well-being in the process. I will be a legal adult soon and need to get my stuff together. It is selfish of me to think I have time to get involved in any kind of romance. Dating was never high on my list of priorities in the past, and I am ashamed it found its way to the top now.

  There aren’t any careers I feel passionate about at this point in my life, but maybe college is something I need to look into. With a year or two of general classes maybe I would be able to find something that interests me. I know college is really expensive and wonder how I would even begin to get my hands on that kind of money.

  It is hard not to fantasize about the pile of drug money I have stashed away and wonder what would happen if I ran to another part of the country and spent it there. Would Johnny still find us? Would we have a chance at a normal life, like anyone else? Would I be able to live with my choice if I left both Gabe and Eli, or would it be yet another terrible mistake that would change everything?

  The combination of the warm sun and gentle breeze that ruffles through my hair eventually causes my eyes to droop heavy. When my head bobs down to my chest I wake with a start. My heart skips a beat when I discover two thick legs covered in grungy pants standing next to me.

  “Little Lily,” a familiar gravelly voice barks from above. “I knew it was only a matter of time before I was able to find you out here.”

  There has been more than one time in my life when I was afraid I was about to die, but as Johnny stands looking down on me and we are surrounded by what must be hundreds of people, I know this is not one of them. It doesn’t make the situation any less terrifying, however. I rise to my feet with caution, deciding I will feel less vulnerable if I at least have a chance to run away from him. My insides quiver uneasily, feeling as loose as a bowl filled with jelly.

  A few preschool aged children run by with their colorful kites floating high in the brilliant blue sky. Johnny barks at them angrily when one of the little girls runs into him, too absorbed in her kite to pay attention to where she is headed. My heart goes out to her when tears spring to her little eyes in response to his outburst. She runs away, crying.

  California has not been as kind to Johnny as it has been to us. His disheveled appearance makes him even more frightening than I had remembered. His greasy brown hair sticks out from his head in wild strands and the dirty, dark colored t-shirt and ratty jeans he wears make me wonder just how long he has been sleeping on the streets of San Diego, waiting until the moment when he would find us. He totally looks like a homeless man.

  “Where’s the money?” he asks. His voice is on the verge of a growling noise and his eyes glower down on me. “I know your momma had my money.”

  A plethora of scenarios run through my mind, the least bit appealing one being that of Johnny hauling me away and telling any onlookers I am his daughter who had run from home. He may be overweight and out of shape, but he is much larger than I am and probably even more determined to do whatever it takes to get his money out of me.

  “I…I don’t have it.” I know immediately my lie sounds unsuccessful.

  A pleasant looking older man with fluffy white hair jogs past and his eyes look at us from under his wrinkled face with heightened curiosity. I consider screaming for his help, but Johnny steps closer in a warning gesture and I let the moment pass without grabbing the stranger’s attention. The man simply continues jogging past when I give him a pathetic smile in greeting.

  “Maybe your pretty little sister Rose can tell me where it is,” Johnny whispers in my ear, his voice dripping with sheer menace.

  First it is fear that rages through me at the sound of my sister’s name rolling off his lips, but that fear is replaced with a boiling anger. No matter what happens I will not let him hurt Rose and would do whatever it takes to keep her safe.

  “Don’t even think of going near her.”

  All at once Johnny’s hands fly up to cover his face when a bright light appears from behind me. The familiar warmth encompasses me before I even see Eli coming. He stands beside me in an instant and places his arm around my waist in a protective manner. My insides burst in celebration of his presence. Johnny takes his hands from his eyes and recognition passes his face when he looks at Eli. His eyes squint into an angry glower.

  “You. I shoulda known you were lyin’ to me that day when I seen you at the surf shop.”

  Eli’s expression is borderline murderous when he looks back at Johnny. “It’s time for you to move on.”

  Johnny snorts. “What you and your little girlfriend here gonna do to me?”

  “Nothing,” Eli answers. “But there is a police officer behind me that is very interested to know who the new drug dealer in the area is that keeps selling to minors.”

  Johnny peers around us, his face scrunching up like he had smelled something rotten when he discovers Eli is not bluffing. I look back also to see where a uniformed female officer is walking through the park in the distance.

  When I turn back to Johnny, he is pointing a crooked, chubby finger at me. “You will give me my money back. Maybe next time your little boyfriend here won’t be around to protect you if I don’t get it.”

  “She doesn’t have your money,” Eli says.

  Johnny laughs and gives me one final dark look before walking away in the opposite direction of the officer with a very brisk speed. Once he is safely out of distance I exhale deeply and my tears weld up.

  Eli reaches out to comfort me for what feels like the hundredth time by now. “It’s okay, Lily.”

  “No, it’s not!” I yell, stepping away from him. “I don’t know how he found me, but he did and he can probably find Rose just as easily. I have to go find her. What if he knows where she is going to school and tries to hurt her? Now that he knows who you are, you’re probably in just as much danger as we are.”

  When he makes no attempt to contradict me, I turn to walk away. I need to get to my sister and run away from here. We need to go somewhere deep into hiding.

  I have only taken two steps when Eli is standing directly in front of me again.

  “How did you do that?” I gasp.

  His expression grows hard, refusing to give up on me. “I know what you’re thinking, Lily. But you can’t leave now.”

  “How do you know what I’m thinking? You know pretty much everything there is to know about me but I know nothing about you! Do you know how frustrating that is?”

  His expression is still hard but he also seems somewhat defeated. “I don’t tell you anything about myself because I don’t want to have to lie to you, Lily. The truth is I am not some kid in high school and I don’t have any family. I was sent to protect you and I am able to do unusual things that would blow your mind. But I’m not sure you’re ready to hear all of that just yet.”

  I laugh incredulously. “What do you mean you were sent here? And blow my mind as in what, exactly? Are you saying you’re some kind of wizard?”

  He gives his sexiest of smiles in response and his eyes sparkle with mischief in the sunlight. “Not quite. But I promise to tell you everything you want to know on your birthday.”

  “Why on my birthday?” I ask.

  His answer does nothing to belittle my confusion. Whatever he thinks he is telling me isn’t coming across as clearly as he must have imagined. I had mentioned to him yesterday that I would be turning eighteen shortly, but I can’t imagine what significance my birthday has in everything that is happening.

  He shakes his head and intertwines his fingers with mine. “I’ll explain it all to you later. You’ll just have to trust me, Lily.”

  I sigh and look down at our hands that fit so well together. “Why is trusting you as easy as breathing?”

  He laughs and pulls me close to kiss the top of my head. There are already so many unanswered questions about Eli—where he lives, why he is always there when I need him and why doesn’t he have a family, but I the mystery surrounding him will continue for now. Whatever big secret he has to reveal
will have to wait.

  * * *

  The next day is very uneventful, although I keep a paranoid eye out for Johnny to be lurking somewhere all day long and nearly jump out of my skin every time there is a loud noise or someone surprises me in some other way. Gabe has not even come to school and with the usual crazy activity going on it proves to be a very nerve wracking day.

  After school I am introduced by Kalia to another young female employee of hers named “Billie.” Billie is fair skinned with striking green eyes and straight black hair. She doesn’t have much to say as we work through the afternoon, although she is quite friendly. The store itself is quiet with only a few young teenage boys coming in to flirt with Kalia.

  Well before the sun sets Kalia decides to let me leave early and gives me my wages in the form of a check. I have to suppress an excited squeal when holding the paper in my hand as I have never been given money for working a day in my life. Once out of the shop I glance down at the amount and feel shocked by how generous Kalia has been in paying me. Tears of pride and joy fill my eyes.

  Minutes later, Eli meets me on the beach with our new identifications in his hand. We sit together in the sand with our bodies pressed up against each other. Goose bumps erupt across my leg each time his warm skin moves against it.

  My insides are shaking with the thoughts that have been weighing on my mind ever since the terrifying run in with Johnny. It is first nature to want to run when things are not going well, having learned the behavior from my mother. I inhale deeply, hoping to calm myself.

  It has only been a few days since Eli and I met in that shady alley, but I know I need him and the comfort of knowing he is close. There were a few moments at school today when I had nearly hyperventilated at the thought of Eli not being beside me, especially without Gabe around. Even if Gabe had been in school, he still doesn’t know about the impending danger I am facing from my mother’s old drug dealer.